Some people choose to spend concerts lip-syncing, staring dreamily into the lead singer’s eyes or head-banging. However, we at the Daily Cal prefer to sit back and observe the lip-syncers, daydreamers, head-bangers, and the bands they worship. Here are those entertaining and embarrassing moments that never made it to print.

Set List (some songs spelled as they wrote it on their own set list):
Country Caravan

Murder Babe

Borsking

Summer Town

Devil’s A Go-Go

The Last Thing on My Mind

MST

Silver Moon

Big Adventure

Saduider

Cool Love #1

Love V

Jericho

Sci-Fi Kid

Wild Mountain Nation

Woof & Warp of the Quiet Giant’s Hem

Green King Sings

Encore:

Futures & Folly

Dreamers & Giants

>> So I walk into Bottom of the Hill and before two words are even out of my mouth, the human manifestation of Grumpy the Dwarf asks me if I’m 21. After I reply that I am not, he takes out a black pen and marks two crosses on my hands. While I’m preparing to be burned for apparently having the plague, I see three high school boys without X’s. Damn fake I.D.s.

>> I want to relieve myself before the show starts, so I find the nearest bathroom, which only has two stalls and a sink. It takes me half the concert, but I eventually realize that I used a woman’s restroom. The word “Girls” is on this purple chewing gum structure on the door and is nearly unreadable to me. I had been wondering why those two beautiful 20-year-old women were staring at me as I washed my hands. I was hoping they were checking me out.

>> The concert starts with Sholi, who do not impress, especially in the vocals department. In fact, until the lead singer screams the word “shit” about three times, I could not understand a single word he whined. Actually, I am not even sure the word is “shit.” Really, the best song they do is an Iranian cover, because as he sings in Farsi, I know that now I’m not supposed to understand him.

>> I’m relieved as I see that Here Here is a far better band. The best part: They have a ukulele. And they use it regularly. How many other bands can say that?

>> For the last hour, this old white guy in the front has been drunkenly dancing in odd sorts of body convulsions. A girl near me starts doing the same. I am strongly reminded of Carlton’s dance from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.”

>>The Fleet Foxes are great. I am sold when they bust out an electric mandolin, and their harmonies on songs like “White Winter Hymnal” are amazing. But the best moment happens when an audience member demands that frontman Robin Pecknold, who plays guitar sitting down, to “lose the stool.” After explaining that it feels unnatural for him to stand and play an acoustic, I hear someone tell him to sit back and relax. He smiles and says, “Daddy gets what daddy likes.”

>>Blitzen Trapper covers Tom Paxton’s “The Last Thing on my Mind.” Eric Earley’s folksy voice adds much charm to the song. It remains one of the best performances of the night.

>>The girl who was dancing next to me starts emitting loud, orgasmic wails similar to those of Sholi’s lead singer. The scary thing is that I do not believe she had been drinking at all. Needless to say, I’m momentarily distracted from the music.

> >Blitzen Trapper is electrifying. Watching them go from country calmness to wild, physical rock ‘n’ roll is amazing.

>> People are leaving after the “last” song? Don’t you neophytes know how concerts work? Thank you Marty Marquis for thanking those who were clapping instead of heading out after the first encore song.

>> All in all, a good night. As I step out, however, I realize the sudden change in decibels made it so that I can barely hear. If I lose my hearing, I’m suing Blitzen Trapper. Of course, unless they play another concert in the Bay Area.

- Raj Srinivasan

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