Monday, December 8
7 p.m. “First Class All the Way” on Bravo. A first-class trip to Tuscany? This show is seriously killing me with jealousy.
8 p.m. “Chuck” on NBC. More bonding between Morgan and Captain Awesome is, well, awesome. I guess that goes without saying.
9 p.m. “Heroes” on NBC. Keeping everything crossed that this show finally starts making sense. Please?
10 p.m. “Scream Queens” on VH1. A winner is chosen! Warning: watching this will be a major casting spoiler for “Saw VI.”

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Monday, December 1
7 p.m. “First Class All the Way” on Bravo. Now’s a good time to remind yourself of what you could have
done over Thanksgiving break if you happened to be a multi-millionaire.
8 p.m. “Gossip Girl” on The CW. The Jenny/Nate/Vanessa triangle takes a turn for the even more ridiculous.
9 p.m. “Heroes” on NBC. I get that they’re targeting a certain demographic, but naming a character Frack is stretching it a bit, don’t you think?
10 p.m. “Scream Queens” on VH1. Is it a breakthrough role if the movie’s “Saw VI”?

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Monday, November 24
7 p.m. “First Class All the Way” on Bravo. Shouldn’t you check the resort’s policy on pets before you book a stay for a writer and her dog?
8 p.m. “Little People, Big World” on TLC. Jeremy has a “run-in” with the new garage door. Accident-prone family much?
8:30 p.m. “How I Met Your Mother” on CBS. So, Ted. How’s the whole living with your ex-girlfriend thing going for you?
9 p.m. “Heroes” on NBC. Seth Green and Breckin Meyer guest star! I don’t even care that this show no longer makes sense!
10 p.m. “Scream Queens” on VH1. The contestants act like they’re possessed … hopefully by the spirits of better actors.

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(Just to clarify, this is last week’s episode. Not even my fault! The local CW screwed me over. However, it may be a few days before I get SporkNotes for the latest episode up.)

Warning: episode spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

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Monday, November 17
7 p.m. “First Class All the Way” on Bravo. Um, I’ll take a romantic weekend in Napa, thanks.
8 p.m. “Gossip Girl” on The CW. What does a “Gossip Girl” Thanksgiving consist of? Fingers crossed for a fist fight in formal wear!
9 p.m. “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ on TLC. Screw “Heroes.” Also, it’s fitting that this episode—in which Jon and Kate renew their wedding vows—is called “For Better or For Worse.”
10 p.m. “Scream Queens” on VH1. Watch it tonight and guess what Joel McHale will mock on Friday’s episode of “The Soup.”

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That’s it. I concede. I can’t go on like this.

“90210″ is terrible, and I will no longer be recapping it. No, SporkNotes aren’t meant to be taken seriously—I wouldn’t do it if these shows weren’t ridiculous. But there’s a limit. The same goes for “Grey’s Anatomy,” which I had initially planned on covering. Have you tried watching an episode recently? It’s truly unbearable.

Help me out here. Am I being too hard on television? There are shows I still like: “House,” “Pushing Daisies,” “Dirty Sexy Money.” There are shows I think are kind of crappy but enjoyable nonetheless: “Heroes,” “True Blood.” I’m a fan of trash. I have a keen sense of irony. However, when it gets to the point that I am genuinely dreading catching up on a series, it’s just not worth it.

If I’ve managed to offend any diehard fans, do let me know. I’ll probably keep watching “90210,” because I’m kind of a masochist. And if anything worth blogging about happens, I’ll do my darndest to report it. Until then, I’ll continue SporkNoting “Gossip Girl,” which the local CW station pushed to Saturday this week. Boo.

Monday, November 10
7 p.m. “Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew” on VH1 (rerun). Admitting you have an addiction to exploitative reality TV is the first step toward recovery.
8 p.m. “Chuck” on NBC. Chuck’s ex is Jordana Brewster. For a dork, he does really well with the ladies.
9 p.m. “Heroes” on NBC. Flashbacks mean we might actually learn what this is all about. Eh, doubtful.
10 p.m. “Scream Queens” on VH1. The “actresses” play a character with no body—can anyone explain how that works?

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(I’m so behind on everything! TiVo is a blessing and a curse.)

Warning: episode spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

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(I know, I know. This is almost a week late. There will be another new episode of “90210″ tonight. In my defense … last week’s was terrible.)

Warning: episode spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

(Click here to read more…)

Monday, November 3
7 p.m. “Jeopardy!” on ABC. Is it just me, or has Alex Trebek gotten sassier lately?
7:30 p.m. “Little People, Big World” on TLC (rerun). Little people, big Civil War reenactment.
8 p.m. “Gossip Girl” on The CW. Jenny continues to make terrible lifestyle choices.
9 p.m. “Saturday Night Live Presidential Bash 2008″ on NBC. Laugh at Tina Fey’s Sarah Palin! Grimace at Fred Armisen’s Obama!

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