That’s it. I concede. I can’t go on like this.

“90210″ is terrible, and I will no longer be recapping it. No, SporkNotes aren’t meant to be taken seriously—I wouldn’t do it if these shows weren’t ridiculous. But there’s a limit. The same goes for “Grey’s Anatomy,” which I had initially planned on covering. Have you tried watching an episode recently? It’s truly unbearable.

Help me out here. Am I being too hard on television? There are shows I still like: “House,” “Pushing Daisies,” “Dirty Sexy Money.” There are shows I think are kind of crappy but enjoyable nonetheless: “Heroes,” “True Blood.” I’m a fan of trash. I have a keen sense of irony. However, when it gets to the point that I am genuinely dreading catching up on a series, it’s just not worth it.

If I’ve managed to offend any diehard fans, do let me know. I’ll probably keep watching “90210,” because I’m kind of a masochist. And if anything worth blogging about happens, I’ll do my darndest to report it. Until then, I’ll continue SporkNoting “Gossip Girl,” which the local CW station pushed to Saturday this week. Boo.

(I know, I know. This is almost a week late. There will be another new episode of “90210″ tonight. In my defense … last week’s was terrible.)

Warning: episode spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

(Click here to read more…)

(Loyal readers, I’m late once again. If it’s any consolation, I am posting this from—I kid you not—Beverly Hills. My parents’ house is actually in the 90211, but that’s close enough, right?)

Warning: episode spoilers head. Read at your own risk.

(Click here to read more…)

Is it just me, or have voting PSAs gotten a whole lot stranger?

What I’m getting from this is, vote or Anthony Hopkins will eat your face. Really, though, the whole thing plays like “Saturday Night Live,” only not funny … which I guess just means it plays like “Saturday Night Live.” Will Jessica Alba and two TV stars be able to convince people to vote? I guess stranger things have happened. And hey, at least Hayden’s not singing.

In all seriousness, please register if you haven’t already. If not for Tristan and Hayden, then for me.

Thanks to the good bloggers over at Best Week Ever for the heads-up.

(Again, apologies for making you wait, but you can probably expect these recaps to be posted on Thursdays from now on. This show is making me lose my faith in television, and as a TV blogger, I just can’t let that happen.)

Warning: episode spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

(Click here to read more…)

(Forgive the delay. I’m trying to overcome my distaste for this show by letting myself cool off a bit before recapping.)

Warning: episode spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

(Click here to read more…)

Warning: episode spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

(Click here to read more…)

Warning: episode spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

(Click here to read more…)

Warning: episode spoilers ahead. Read at your own risk.

(Click here to read more…)

Series: “90210″
Number of Completed Seasons: Zero (unless you count the original show’s 10)
Series Premiere: Sept. 2, 8 p.m. on The CW
Brief Synopsis: The new “90210″ attempts to update the classic (and I use that word loosely) Aaron Spelling series, apparently by dropping the “Beverly Hills.” The students at West Beverly High are primarily wealthy, stuck-up and prone to rampant bitchiness. But then, of course, there’s the good girl, the journalism geek, the awkward rebel…
Key Players: New girl Annie Wilson (Shenae Grimes) and her brother Dixon (Tristan Wilds). Their parents Harry (Rob Estes) and Debbie (Lori Loughlin). Harry’s washed-up TV star of a mother Tabitha (Jessica Walter). The popular (and evil) rich girl Naomi (AnnaLynne McCord). The jock Ethan (Dustin Milligan). Mainstream journalism enthusiast Navid (Michael Steger) and more rebellious journalism enthusiast Silver (Jessica Stroup). Hot teachers, including Ryan Matthews (Ryan Eggold) and “Beverly Hills, 90210″ alums Kelly Taylor (Jennie Garth) and Brenda Walsh (Shannen Doherty).
Why You Should Watch: The CW is the network that brought us “Gossip Girl,” so it’s safe to expect the same level of preposterous drama and pretty people. Even those who weren’t fans of the original series should be able to enjoy that. And for those who were, there’s bound to be a fair share of meta-humor and exciting guest star opportunities. (This just in: Jason Priestley has expressed interest in reprising his role as Brandon Walsh!) On a personal note, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see a Persian character as a regular. I’m not Persian, but I went to the real Beverly Hills High, and a large number of my classmates were. And OK, this actor is actually of Ecuadorian, Austrian and Norwegian descent, but … it’s a start?