Monday, February 23

8 p.m. “House” on Fox. A teenager has both male and female DNA–a fact his parents have been keeping from him his whole life. House starts acting nicely. What a kuh-razy episode.

8 p.m. “Chuck” on NBC. Watch on Hulu.com a few hours after it airs to watch Jeff and Lester form a band called Jeffster!, which they insist Ellie use as her wedding band. (Click here to read more…)

Monday, February 9

8:30 p.m. “How I Met Your Mother” on CBS. We meet the Stinson family, aka Barney’s mom from the knees up. The gang thinks Barney has a girlfriend–fun fact: Neil Patrick Harris is actually dating the extra who plays Scooter, Lily’s ex-boyfriend. (Click here to read more…)

Monday, February 2

8 p.m. “House” on Fox. That’s right—four quality television shows tonight during the 8-9 hour. My advice? Watch “House” live and wait for “Mother” and “Chuck” to go online. “Gossip Girl” can wait. As for the episode tonight, House’s staff grapples with personal and professional issues as always, blah blah blah.

8 p.m. “Gossip Girl” on the CW. In case you decide against my expert advice, Blair plots and Chuck blacks out; look for exhaustive details tomorrow on this very blog!

8 p.m. “Chuck” on NBC. Yay! “Chuck” is back, battling evil and job monotony, tonight in 3-D. I’m as curious as you are.

8:30 p.m. “How I Met Your Mother” on CBS. An episode entitled, “Barney Stinson: That Guy’s Awesome.” Be so excited. It should be legen—wait for it—dary.

Tuesday, February 3

9 p.m. Two episodes of “Scrubs” on ABC. Dr. Cox is the new chief of medicine and buggin’ out big-time. (Click here to read more…)

Monday, December 8
7 p.m. “First Class All the Way” on Bravo. A first-class trip to Tuscany? This show is seriously killing me with jealousy.
8 p.m. “Chuck” on NBC. More bonding between Morgan and Captain Awesome is, well, awesome. I guess that goes without saying.
9 p.m. “Heroes” on NBC. Keeping everything crossed that this show finally starts making sense. Please?
10 p.m. “Scream Queens” on VH1. A winner is chosen! Warning: watching this will be a major casting spoiler for “Saw VI.”

(Click here to read more…)

Monday, December 1
7 p.m. “First Class All the Way” on Bravo. Now’s a good time to remind yourself of what you could have
done over Thanksgiving break if you happened to be a multi-millionaire.
8 p.m. “Gossip Girl” on The CW. The Jenny/Nate/Vanessa triangle takes a turn for the even more ridiculous.
9 p.m. “Heroes” on NBC. I get that they’re targeting a certain demographic, but naming a character Frack is stretching it a bit, don’t you think?
10 p.m. “Scream Queens” on VH1. Is it a breakthrough role if the movie’s “Saw VI”?

(Click here to read more…)

Monday, November 24
7 p.m. “First Class All the Way” on Bravo. Shouldn’t you check the resort’s policy on pets before you book a stay for a writer and her dog?
8 p.m. “Little People, Big World” on TLC. Jeremy has a “run-in” with the new garage door. Accident-prone family much?
8:30 p.m. “How I Met Your Mother” on CBS. So, Ted. How’s the whole living with your ex-girlfriend thing going for you?
9 p.m. “Heroes” on NBC. Seth Green and Breckin Meyer guest star! I don’t even care that this show no longer makes sense!
10 p.m. “Scream Queens” on VH1. The contestants act like they’re possessed … hopefully by the spirits of better actors.

(Click here to read more…)

Monday, November 17
7 p.m. “First Class All the Way” on Bravo. Um, I’ll take a romantic weekend in Napa, thanks.
8 p.m. “Gossip Girl” on The CW. What does a “Gossip Girl” Thanksgiving consist of? Fingers crossed for a fist fight in formal wear!
9 p.m. “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ on TLC. Screw “Heroes.” Also, it’s fitting that this episode—in which Jon and Kate renew their wedding vows—is called “For Better or For Worse.”
10 p.m. “Scream Queens” on VH1. Watch it tonight and guess what Joel McHale will mock on Friday’s episode of “The Soup.”

(Click here to read more…)

Monday, November 10
7 p.m. “Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew” on VH1 (rerun). Admitting you have an addiction to exploitative reality TV is the first step toward recovery.
8 p.m. “Chuck” on NBC. Chuck’s ex is Jordana Brewster. For a dork, he does really well with the ladies.
9 p.m. “Heroes” on NBC. Flashbacks mean we might actually learn what this is all about. Eh, doubtful.
10 p.m. “Scream Queens” on VH1. The “actresses” play a character with no body—can anyone explain how that works?

(Click here to read more…)

Monday, November 3
7 p.m. “Jeopardy!” on ABC. Is it just me, or has Alex Trebek gotten sassier lately?
7:30 p.m. “Little People, Big World” on TLC (rerun). Little people, big Civil War reenactment.
8 p.m. “Gossip Girl” on The CW. Jenny continues to make terrible lifestyle choices.
9 p.m. “Saturday Night Live Presidential Bash 2008″ on NBC. Laugh at Tina Fey’s Sarah Palin! Grimace at Fred Armisen’s Obama!

(Click here to read more…)

Monday, October 20
7 p.m. “At the Table With Anthony Bourdain” on The Travel Channel (rerun). Will someone please tell me how I can score an invite to Anthony Bourdain’s dinner party?
8 p.m. “Gossip Girl” on The CW. Blair offers to sleep with Chuck if he seduces innocent Jenny. It’s like a hip, teen version of “Dangerous Liaisons.” Wait, didn’t they make that movie already?
9 p.m. “Heroes” on NBC. Claire (with her power of invulnerability) and Sandra (with her power of … being Claire’s mom) rush to Meredith’s rescue.
10 p.m. “Scream Queens” on VH1. I’m all for a new reality competition series, but do we really need a “Saw VI”?

(Click here to read more…)