Ah, yes, we have finally traveled back in time and then forward again to arrive here, today. Madrid, I should mention. Get out of the DeLorean, and let’s go.

I have been n Madrid for the last two weeks and, well, I know nothing about this city. It is that same feeling I had going into the final of Astro C10. I had been to all the classes, but when finals came rolling around I was clueless. I think I got a 42 on the final. Thank god for pass/ no pass. Anyway, that’s what this feels like. I’m supposed to update you on Madrid. Tell you things. Give you wisdom that you could never get out of a book. With Madrid, I don’t have that yet. Here’s why:

I’m not really in Madrid. UCI made it seem as if I would be studying in Madrid. Such is not the case. The campus is actually located in Villaviciosa de Odon (if you’re familiar with Madrid geography, then you probably still don’t have a damned clue as to where I am, because, really, it is not in Madrid). This place is about a 35-40 minute bus ride from the city. With class, eating, sleeping and drinking, Madrid always seems so far away. I have been into the city several times, seeing things. We just haven’t been consumed by the city, the way we were at our previous stops. We did take a double-decker bus tour, which doesn’t count. Seeing anything at 35 mph is not seeing it.

So this weekend is free, making it a Madrid weekend and a promising start to feeling this city. But these are some things that I have learned about Spanish culture.

• They eat dinner late–11 p.m.  late. I’m on the sumo wrestler diet– eat, then sleep.
• They stay up late. Clubs close at 6 a.m., bars at 3:30-4. They blame it on decades of oppression from a dictator. This doesn’t really add up because he died (seems like a perfect opportunity to use a word I never do) hella long ago. That is the first time I have ever written “hella,” now let’s all forget about it and move on.
• They wake up early, breakfast at 8, which if you have been paying attention then you should realize that this isn’t even enough time for a buzz to wear off.
• The siesta is not a myth. They really go to sleep in the middle of the day, rendering the whole state useless for 2.5 hours everyday. So if you plan on invading Spain, there’s your window. I have actually named myself king a few times during siestas and I rule the country quite comfortably, as there is nobody to oppose my rule or obey it.
• Everything is laid back, except for the metros and escalators. Much like the French, they will literally bump into people in order to get one step lower. You find yourself laughing out loud at how they value these little seconds. Who cares if you miss a train? Another will come in two minutes. Apparently, the Spanish can smoke a cigarette and drink a beer in two minutes, making every second count.
• Smoking is still cool. Not hipster cool, but black and white movies cool, when chain smoking was sexier than a gratuitous Matthew  McConaughey topless shot. They don’t need fog machines in clubs, smokers got it covered. Several times have I returned from a bar and the smell of cigarettes was so pungent from my clothing that I had to do my albuterol inhaler, seriously.
• Lindsay Lohan is the spokesmodel for a clothing line called, “Fornarina.” I kid not. The progression is now complete from Disney Channel to nasty Euro sex symbol. Watch out Zac Efron. No matter what she looks like now, I feel that her body of work has defined our generation and I’m kind of proud of that.

On to Bilbao. We took a weekend trip  there and it was spectacular. Not even rain could ruin the city for me and I didn’t even have a rain jacket or an umbrella. Picture a more artistic, open, and quieter San Francisco without the homeless people. That’s Bilbao.

The walk that lines the river is gorgeous. It is filled with many modern art statues and installations. It is the first city in Europe where I think that I could live permanently.

The Guggenheim museum was awesome, despite being a near duplicate of Los Angeles’ Walt Disney Concert Hall. Cai Guo-Qiang’s gunpowder art was too cool. I was actually impressed. I usually see modern art and think, “I could do that,”  but his work is worth the trip in itself. Michael Bay, take some notes this is how to blow shit up, artistically. Our tour guide was a tall German transplant, who seemed to be in the height of her training for the speed-tour Olympics because she was Usain-Bolt-fast. She must be a definite contender for the gold.

Bilbao is a must-see in Spain. Break from the touristic cities and head north. It is one of the most gorgeous places I have ever been. We spent July Fourth in a gay bar in Bilbao, yeah, it’s something to tell the grandkids.

Last Note- Berkeley Spanish doesn’t cut it. 3 semesters and I’m still awful. I’m thinking hopelessly pathetic and incompetent, but even that doesn’t really tell you how bad I really am. It’s not broken because you have to have something to break first. Slowly but surely, though, it is coming around.

I plan on uploading a video of one of the daily conversations that I have with my facilitator.  She practices her broken English on me, mixed with more Spanish than anything else and I do the exact opposite. The best part, we understand each other perfectly. I have been told that it is one of the funniest things to see, so hopefully we can get a video up here soon, so you can actually laugh during one of my posts.

I will throw down another beast of a post after the weekend in Madrid, unless I die.

Image Source: envisionpublicidad under Creative Commons